Gary Ezzo says that there are 4 stages in parenting.

1. The first stage is “Discipline” - from birth to age 5. This is when you set rules & draw the guidelines & say, “This is right & this is wrong. This is good & this is bad.” And if you don’t do that in the first 5 years you probably won’t be able to do it at all. 

2. The second stage is “Training” – ages 6-12. Training time is when you’re setting the example. You become the role model. You show them how to dress themselves, to tie their shoes, & cut their meat & so on. It’s a training time when you’re actually modeling for them, & they’re watching you.

3. The third stage is “Coaching” – ages 13-19. During this phase the child is actually in the game & you’re the coach on the sidelines. You’re not playing the game for them, they’re playing it themselves. You may call time out. You may huddle up. You may send in some plays, but you’re the coach & they’re the players.

4. The laststage, the fourth stage, is “Friendship” – from sometime around 20 throughout the rest of your life you just become good friends. You walk together, & talk together, & remember together, & laugh together. You have turned them loose to become the person God created them to be.